GrownUp Clothes

I went shopping today.
For anyone who knows me, you know I detest shopping.  First off, I have the attention span of a small ADHD child.  So staying focused, keeping my eye on that clothing prize, it's quite difficult.  Second, well, my breasticles tend to make shopping a nightmare.  Things don't fit me.  My boobs require plus sizes.  (Don't even get me started on bra shopping.  My eyes leak. Like a bitch.)  My mom always says, we'll take it to a tailor.  Fuck that. No. We won't.  I'm cheap.  I'm lazy.  And the last thing I need is 'shopping 2.0 the rise of the tailor' to tailspin me even further into breast related depression. (Seriously, I'm pretty sure my boobs, and not the moon, are responsible for that whole tide thing.) And thirdly, I tend to go a little psycho when trapped in overpopulated, unnatural indoor settings for long periods of time.
So. Anyway.  Apparently, because I'm no longer in college and applying for 'grown-up' jobs, my wardrobe needs to be updated.  But I like my clothes.  I like my hippie-wear, my ratty sweaters, my Montauk sweatshirt which I've had since birth it feels like (even though its been stolen frequently. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.).  My clothes define my "I don't care, let's smoke another bowl" outlook on life.  Or better yet, my non-conformity to the man, yeah man.  I don't believe in cubicles or careers or money.  But that's a rant for another time.
Back to clothing.
So, yea.  Today, I bought clothes that make me look like an adult rather than a large-breasted awkward child type person.  I found myself thinking (while changing in the atrociously lit dressing room) "this can totally double as work clothes during the day and going out clothes for the evening" while looking in the mirror (which, those crafty bastards somehow design to make you look taller and slimmer than you really are, which in the store seems awesome. 'hey everybody, come and see how good i look!' but then as soon as you get home it's like womp wommppppp.  'I've apparently lost 3 inches in height and added them to everywhere else.').  Now, this is a strange thought to be going through my mind considering I am currently unemployed and have no social life whatsoever.
So despite the fact I have nowhere to go, nothing to do and no one to do it with, I can now dress like a grown up.
Damn. It feels good to be a gansta.