Boy on the Inside. Boobs on the Outside.

For all intents and purposes, I am a boy on the inside.  Not that whole, I was born the wrong gender, damn this vagina sort of inside-boy, but rather: I have kicked lovers out of my bed because I'm too tired to pretend to want to cuddle. I enjoy discussing pooping.  Cars turn me on.  Sex is basic, instinctual and should be practiced at any available moment.  I don't cry, my eyes just leak sometimes.  I laugh anytime someone uses the word duty or preferably 'duties' (haha duty). Farting is one way to ease your mind, body and soul.  But most of all, girls scare the shit out of me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not literally afraid of females (well not all females). It's just that, well, I understand all the crazy/emotional bullshit that wreaks havoc on the female psyche thus transforming us all into demon-psycho-cunts (i'm sorry if the word offends you, get over it).  I think all straight men, whether faithful or cheaters, monogamous or manwhores, cocky or dorky, deserve a big pat on the back or blowjob or whatever would make their day.  Kudos to you, you slayers of females, you vag-masters, because it's to you we owe a big Thanks.  Without you, I'd be forced to be lesbian.